You Are Beautiful, Black Trans Women

'I defy any doctor in the world to prove that I am not a woman.  I have lived, dressed, acted just what I am, a woman.'-Lucy Hicks Anderson

One of the things that we all struggle with at times as Black trans women is dealing with the dysphoria that whacks us from time to time.

Yes, we know that we are women, too, but whether you're pre, post or non op, there are times the 'that;s a man' insults that seems to come at you from all directions stings harder on some days than others.

And yes, we trans women can be some of our own harshest critics when it comes to scrutinizing ourselves and how we stack up with our trans sisters

You come in 24 different skin tones from light bright and damned near white to deepest darkest ebony.  Your fine brown frames come in all shapes and sizes.

It also doesn't help that we cis and trans Black women are also dealing with a beauty standard that never had us in mind when whiteness and white supremacy decided to elevate white women as the penultimate example of beauty, femininity and fertility that all women should aspire to. 

Deep breath, everyone.

I know it is a challenging time for us and the trans community.  We're under sustained attack by the Forces of Intolerance with a hostile Republican controlled federal government in place.   We have Black cis women in our own ranks sounding like white cis feminine TERF's.   You have days when your mood goes up and down with your hormones, and you feel like you can either conquer the world or wish you could just crawl back under the covers and not deal with crap today.

But remember, you are Black trans women.  You can accomplish anything you put your minds to.

You helped kick off a movement at Stonewall.  You stood up to oppression repeatedly at Compton's Cafeteria in 1966, Dewey's Lunch Counter in Philadelphia in 1965, and Cooper's Donuts in LA in 1959.  Sometimes you did it alone, sometime in coalition with others.

You have Black trans women who blazed trails and defiantly fought for your right to exist from Mary Jones to  Lucy Hicks Anderson  to Marsha P. Johnson    My generation picked up that leadership torch from and are now carrying it for you until it is time for y'all to accept it from us.

One of us got elected to a state legislature in 1990.   One of us is about to be featured in Playboy as their first ever playmate.   You are cutting edge thinkers, leaders, educators and trailblazers in this movement.   You stylishly rock fashion runways and red carpet.   You write New York Times best selling books like Janet.  You slay pageants and balls.  You grace our television screens like Amiyah and Laverne and you sing like angels all the way to Carnegie Hall like Tona Brown.

You have Black trans women who are not only running for office in Minneapolis, you are making trailblazing steps to shape the direction in which one of our major political parties will go as Marisa Richmond will do as a DNC member.   You are handling your business when it comes to getting your education, and you are desired and wanted as a life partner in a long term relationship.

You are all that and ten bags of barbeque chips.   And our Black trans feminine teens like Trinity will do even more amazing things as they grow to adulthood and I hope I'm around to see it. 

And yes, I need to say it, since Black trans women don't hear it enough.   You are beautiful, my Black trans sisters.   You are enough, to borrow your trans brother Kye Allums' words.

You are valid.  You are part of the diverse mosaic of human life.  You undeniably exist no matter how many times our right wing and TERF opposition try and fail to denigrate our humanity.

You are fabulous and you are my sister, no matter where you live across the Diaspora.  Whether you live in Brazil, the Caribbean, the USA, Europe, or on the African continent, we are connected through our DNA, history and being Black on a planet that universally reviles Blackness.

Never forget that.  Never forget  that you are beautiful, Black trans women.

'Star' Season 2 Starts Tonight

More Must See Trans TV action kicks off tonight with the season 2 debut of Star, the spinoff Empire show chronicling the rise of a girl group that has a major trans feminine character played by surprise surprise, an out Black trans woman in the lovely Amiyah Scott.

When we last saw Cotton, she was on a hospital gurney either about to get or recovering from her SRS, and handcuffs were being slapped on her. 

There was also other drama in the Season 1 finale in which Hunter and Eva shady behinds were both killed by a hitman mistaking him for Jahil while he was in the middle of coitus with Eva. 

There's Alexandra's pregnancy and the BLM activist father of the child being possibly paralyzed after a car accident,  and Big Trouble winning the NextFest music contest.



While I'm not liking that part of Cotton being arrested, the fact remains that Amiyah is playing a major trans character on a hit television show that is now in its second season. 

Besides my inquiring mind wanting to see how the group develops with Carlotta as their new manager and with a new name, I also want to see what happens in the relationship between Cotton and Carlotta, and now Jahil Rivera, the group's former manager who was revealed during Season 1 to be Cotton's biological father.

The Seson 2 fun on Star starts tonight at 8 PM CDT

Dear Transphobic People- Putting You Transphobic Black Cis Men On Blast

Dear Transphobic People,
Been a while since I've done one of these posts calling y'all out on your off the chains transphobia, but in light of the fact that I have had to call out two transphobic Black men in Third Ward in the last 72 hours, with one of them threatening me with violence, it's past time for me to call y'all out like I had to do with my Black cis sisters.

First off, what the hell is wrong with y'all?  

I and other Black trans women are beyond sick and tired of being sick and tired of y'all having something to say when we are just trying to go about our day without harassment and you feel the nerve to whisper or holler 'that's a man' at us while we're close enough for you to hear it.

Neither do we like it when you Black men repeatedly get on the mics at 100,000 watt radio and TV stations broadcasting transphobic ignorance and hate speech to the world.

That transphobic hate speech metastasizes into anti-trans violence that can cause our deaths.  

Naw b****, I'm not a man. I was born an infant 55 years ago that evolved and grew to become a fabulous, proud, unapologetic Black trans woman who is finally comfortable in her body.

If I was a man, I wouldn't have spent the countless hours and years in counseling, tons of money on trans affirming medical procedures and the aforementioned counseling, money on a new wardrobe, and gleefully getting adjusted to the nuances of living life on the Black feminine side of the gender spectrum.

I and my trans sisters are women, regardless of the genitalia configurations concealed in our panties, what you assume our chromosomes are or what your ignorant masculine azz has to say about the subject.

Gender identity is between your ears, not your legs.  If you aren't a certified gender therapist, geneticist, progressive politician or pastor, supportive family member or ally, or a doctor that specializes in transgender issues, I really don't give a rats anus what your loud and wrong opinion is anyway.

I and Black Trans Feminine World are sick and tired of you kneegrows cooning it up with the same white male Republican politicians that hate your Black behinds to politically hate on the trans community, then expect me and my community's help and support when your white male GOP best buds turn on or their white supremacist police buds shoot to kill one of y'all after they're done using you for their right wing photo ops.

Whatever personal issues you have going on in your life,  or if you're mad because you ain't getting any attention sexually, don't take it out your shortcomings on Black trans women.   Don't get mad because we turned your azz down for a date. If we're not feeling you, deal with it.  

We know deep down you are turned on by us, want to date and get busy with us.  The trans porn sales numbers and sustained popularity of the trans porn genre don't lie.

We Black trans women, nor ANY woman for that mater, are not punching bags for you to release your toxic masculine anger on.   Neither is it acceptable to put your hands on or disrespect a trans woman for any reason.

Too many of my sisters are dying at your hands because you are far too concerned about your masculine reps than the lives of the trans women you are dating or getting busy with.  .

And naw Black gay men, you ain't escaping Moni's Dear Transphobic People wrath either.  It time to snatch your wigs, too

 Far too many of you have thrown transphobic shade at trans women you pass in the gayborhood streets or in the clubs while hugged up with your white male boyfriends, or while you're out and about at the club with your friends.  

Get it through your heads that trans women are WOMEN.  You are not experts (RuPaul) on how we live our lives, we trans women are.   If you want to know something about our lives, respectfully ask us.   If you work for an org that wants to know about our transfeminine lives, pay us for that privilege.

Don't get it twisted, being a trans woman is not analogous to being a drag queen.  While some of my trans sisters make their money doing drag in clubs or the pageant circuit and have used it as a way to facilitate their personal feminine transition journey, drag is simply a job for them to pay their bills.

When that show is over, they wipe the stage makeup off, clock out, exit that club, reenter society and navigate their way back home as trans women, not gay men.

And for those of you working in Black oriented or other cisgender focused human rights orgs, we need you to have our back in those policy circles you have access to, not stab us in the back.

My Black trans life matters just as much as yours does.   Black trans people aren't going away because we are an undeniable part of the diverse mosaic of human life, ,and you need to deal with that reality.

So cis Black men, next time you feel the urge to throw 'that's a man ' shade at a Black trans woman who is just trying to get through her day without drama, put your lips in park and don't do it.

Because you may not like what happens next if you follow through with your desire to mess with a trans woman that day.

Number 11- Rest In Power And Peace, Sherrell Faulkner

One of the things I was deeply concerned about when the North Carolina GOP started messing with trans people and passed the unjust HB 2 law was that the ramped up anti-trans rhetoric the North Carolina GOP used to satisfy their trans oppressor gene would result in trans folks in the Tarheel State being targeted for violence or worse.

I feared that the folks who would feel the brunt of the ramped up anti-trans violence would be the North Carolina trans communities of color because anti-trans hate thoughts + anti-trans hate speech = anti-trans violence/ murders.  

Well, that fear became a reality on November 30, 2016 for 46 year old Sherrell Faulkner.  

She was found near a dumpster in Charlotte's gay friendly Plaza-Midwood neighborhood at The Plaza and 35th Street suffering from trauma and was taken to Carolinas Medical Center for treatment.

She died on May 16 from the injuries sustained in the attack, and became the 11th person in 2017 and 10th African-American trans woman to die this year because of anti-trans violence.  

And in a far too common and infuriating media pattern, another Black trans murder victim has been misgendered once again.  This time the guilty party is WCNC-TV.

Faulkner's death is also on the hands of the North Carolina Republican Party and former Gov. Pat McCrory (R), who with their loud and wrong anti-trans rhetoric incited the violence that led to the attack on Faulkner in the first place.

Her family has been notified of her death, and no word as of yet from my North Carolina trans family and media peeps if there is a memorial service planned for her.

Charlotte Mecklenburg Police are now investigating this case as a homicide.

If you have information that will lead to the capture, conviction and incarceration of the person of persons who killed Sherrell, please call Charlotte Mecklenburg Crime Stoppers at 704-334-1600 or 704-432-TIPS (8477)

And as always, will be keeping track of this case until justice is served.

Rest in power and peace Sherrell.  

Learning, Networking and Having Fun At BTAC 2017

We're passing the halfway mark of the BTAC 2017 conference, and in addition to yours truly doing my part to ensure it is an informative and enjoyable conference for all our attendees, I am enjoying my extended birthday week celebration.

It is my fave conference, and increasingly we have people attending from different parts of the world. Our brother Neish is back from Jamaica, Dora is repping Brazil, and Neo is repping The Congo.

That perspective is important for those of us African descended people who grew up here in the States, and helps give us visual evidence and proof that we are part of the African Diaspora.

One of the other things that takes place during BTAC 2017 that is important is all the networking and information sharing that happens in conversations large and small.

We have two more days of panels, with today's panels being focused on health and wellness issues

The other thing that is also important when we gather at BTAC is seeing old friends, meeting new ones from around the country and the world, and just getting to know people on a personal level you may have only regular connections with previously via Facebook or other social media.

There's also meetings with people from other organizations who wish to seriously engage with our Black trans community as we are gathered here in Dallas, and me handling my business as BTAC's Media Chair.

My BTAC siblings, like myself are taking time to have some fun.  It's not all serious business.  BTAC is at a basic level, a big family reunion and one of the few Afrocentric trans themed conferences in the US.

It's a time where I get to laugh and get loved on by my trans fam that looks like me and shares my ethnic background.

When you have a bunch of Black trans women gathered at a conference, it's gonna be a fashion show.  Mama Moni is damned sure ready and able to handle her fashion business in that department with several days of clothes and three pairs of shoes in her two suitcases.

I'm also enjoying the fact that in addition the record attendance we are having this year, we have a large contingent of trans women to go along with our trans brothers.   We also have a lot of first time BTAC attendees this year, and it makes me pleased and proud to see this happening.

You can keep up with the BTAC happenings at the #BTAC2017 hashtag.   We also have people doing Facebook Live events and I'm tweeting at my TransGriot Twitter handle when I'm not taking part in an event..

Rest In Power and Peace, Alphonza

We have now lost eight trans women in 2017 to anti- trans violence.  Seven of them have been African American trans women.

The latest murder happened in Baltimore, MD  yesterday morning, and the person we will be saying her name is 38 year old Alphonza Watson.

Watson grew up in Washington DC, but moved to Baltimore 10-15 years ago.

She was found at 4:15 AM by police officers suffering from a gunshot wound to the stomach in the 2400 block of Guilford Ave ion the north side of Baltimore.  She was taken to Johns Hopkins Hospital where she died from her wounds several hours later.

Baltimore Police media relations chief TJ Smith stated that witnesses reported an argument between Watson and two men took place before the gunshots happened.   Those witnesses reported that immediately after the gunshots two men were spotted running  and getting into a dark colored vehicle before speeding away from the scene.

Baltimore has been a particular deadly city for trans women.  Since 2005 there have been 14 murders involving trans women, with Crystal Edmonds being the last person killed.

Edmonds case is still open, but the others according to Baltimore PD have been closed.

I'm also refusing to use  the mugshot that has been plastered all over Baltimore media out of respect for the deceased.  If someone who knows her has a nicer photo of our deceased sister, please send it to me so I can then share it with the media,

If you have information that will bring her killers to justice, you are urged to call the Baltimore Police Department at 410-396-2100, text a tip at 443-902-4824 or call Metro Crime Stoppers at 866-7LOCKUP  (866-756 -2587).

Rest in power and peace, sis.   The community will not rest until the people who did this are caught and justice is served.

Building Sustained Texas Black Trans Representation Is Needed and Necessary

In addition to some blogger y'all know making a little speech, engaging with our elected officials and their staffers under the Pink Dome yesterday, and talking to the various people in different organizations, one of the cool things about a lobby day is also having the opportunity to have those one on one conversations with attendees and the general public.

There are also those unexpected moments that happen that tug at your heart.

I have said and been cognizant of ever since I started taking these lobby day trips to Austin in 1999 that it wasn't about me, it was about the next generation of kids who were behind me and making it better for them.

It it happened that my work to pass laws and policies that expanded trans human rights benefitted me in the short term, that was all good as well

In this one snapshot taken in the rotunda of our Texas state capitol building, there are three generations of Black trans women here.  I made my first lobby day trip before all of them were born, but we're here together on this March 20, 2017 day repping our community.

Every time I look at that picture, it not only makes me cry happy tears, but also puts a smile on my face.   To them, I am a respected trans elder who not only is passing down their history to them, I'm also role modeling what it will be possibly like to be a fab Black trans women when they hit my age.

I get to see these amazing Black trans women in their teens, twenties and thirties, and it reminds me of why I have been fighting since 1998 for visible Black trans representation in our movement, in the media and other spaces.

Because it matters.

It matters to Texas Black trans kids like Zuri and their parents.  It matters to Mia and Jessica to see their fourth generation Texas trans elder confidently speaking to over 1000 people with cameras trained on her firing up a diverse crowd before they went to their various meeting with state legislators under the Pink Dome.

It matters that our Black community knows that #BlackTransPeopleExist, we are concerned Texans who are expressing ourselves to our legislators about the issues that matter to us, and we thought it was so important to do so we took a day out of our lives to make it happen

It matters for me to be hugged by Mia  and Jessica, and having a two hour intergenerational conversation on the bus ride back to Houston about the issues we deal with as Black trans women and our hopes, fears, insecurities and aspirations for the future,

It also was heartening to know that these young women also shared my concerns about the media images of Black trans women and were determined to role model being quality Black women who just happen to be transgender.

It mattered to be called Aunt Monica by Zuri.  While it brought on a momentary twinge of sadness with the thought crossing my mind that I don't have biological kids of my on and at this stage of my life, it's probably not gonna happen for me, the trans kids are basically my kids as well.

But Zuri's presence also reminded me that this Texas trans human rights fight is about ensuring that she has a Texas and a country she can grow up in that will allow her to become the amazing Black woman she is well on her way to becoming.

Would I love to see more Black trans representation when we have these lobby days in the 2019 session?   Absolutely.  

That's one of the goals we need to make happen, and it become even more important in light of the fact some of the members of the Texas House and Senate share our ethnic heritage and history as Black Texans.

There are some arguments I can make while lobbying in a Black legislator's office that frankly, a white trans person can't.  It's one of the many reasons why we need to start being hired and paid as lobbyists or to do work in equality orgs that profess to work for the entire community but are still overwhelmingly white in their employment and staffing rolls.

It's either do so or don't get mad and whine 'Why are you separating from us?" when we form our own organizations to do the work you refuse to do or hire us for.   That's why BTWI, BTMI and Black Trans Advocacy exist in the Lone Star State right now.

And our right wing opposition has no problem hiring Black sellouts to deploy and use against you

And speaking of that sustained Texas Black trans representation, much of the heavy lifting and elbow grease required to make it happen also is on us Black trans Texans.   If you want orgs that rep you, you have to support them not only with your sweat equity but with your dollars so they can do the work you say you want and need to have happen.  

Do I hope to see in my lifetime Black trans women standing in the Texas House or Senate as elected representatives, judges or accomplishing whatever their heart desires and their skills take them?.

Do I hope to one day see an end to cadres of Black ministers selling out our community and preaching anti-trans hate from their pulpits as white fundamentalists and conservative Republicans smile?

Do I hope to have my Black community say in one loud voice that Black Trans Lives matter and I see an end to the obscene levels of anti-trans violence aimed at us?

I sure do.

It's why building Texas Black trans representation is needed, necessary and needs to expeditiously happen.\