A proud unapologetic Black trans woman speaking truth to power and discussing the world around her since 2006
Sunday, December 22, 2013
A Trans Ally Sounds Off
TransGriot Note: A guest post from Tresha Ruthe that originally appeared on her Facebook page, but it's deserving of more widespread readership and attention. Thanks for allowing me to post it here.
With the widespread idiocy in the last few days regarding the LGBT community at large, and specifically the Trans community, let me explain the Trans experience in the most succinct way I know: Your brain, not your body is the seat, source, and home of your identity. If you, as you are now, with all your likes, dislikes, hates, loves, preferences, tastes, and all those things that define you as you, woke up tomorrow with the opposite gender's genitals, you would be living in the Trans experience. Now, try for just 10 seconds to imagine not only the internal, "This is wrong!" but also having the entire world tell you that you CAN'T (not shouldn't) but CANNOT be who you are at the very core of your soul. THAT is what it means to be Transgender.
Whether you understand why a transgender person is transgender or not; whether that is a choice you would make or not; whether you are comfortable around them or not; they deserve tolerance, understanding, support, love, and to be championed. No matter who the person was "before transition" they are still, at the core of their being, the same person "after transition". If you loved them "before" why can't you love them "after". A "sister" doesn't "become a brother", they always were one, it's just that you couldn't SEE that they were a brother and not a sister. Transition is nothing more than making a physical change so that others can see what's inside. In many ways, transition is on the same level as dying one's hair, losing weight, having plastic surgery, or any other form of body modification done to make us feel more comfortable in our own skins. Yes, Transition is an extremely difficult process. Yes, it is far more extreme than dying one's hair, and I have yet to meet a Trans person who didn't take their choices with every ounce of the gravity that those choices deserve. Until you have personally had to choose between living a lie, dying a truthful suicide, or going through one of the world's most humiliating processes of change, do not presume to assume that you "know what those people are really after." I can tell you, from deep, direct, constant contact with not just one, but many Trans people, what they are really after is love, acceptance, and their own truth of identity. None of that should threaten or frighten you. If seeing them around does either of those things to you, that is ignorance, intolerance, and unacceptable. Get over yourself.
PS: This is not directed at anyone I know personally, but rather some things happening in the society.