Sunday, January 16, 2011
Pam's Ponderings-Some Suggestions From Erica
I got an email from a young trans woman, Erica, who lives in another country. I do hope that one day Erica shares with me what it’s like being trans in another land. I find such topics captivating.
Erica gave me some suggestions for topics.to write about.
One was trans girls should be allowed to be their sister’s or best friend’s bridesmaids.
I absolutely agree. If a trans girl and her sister are close, then why shouldn’t a trans girl be allowed to don a beautiful bridesmaid dress and participate in the wedding ceremony?
She is the bride’s sister and sister’s invariably play a role in their siblings weddings. And a genetic sister extending an invitation to her trans sister to partake in her wedding is the highest compliment Miss Natal could pay her trans sister.
Also, a sister can be a trans woman’s friend, confidante, advisor and mentor.
When my oldest sister, Jean was pregnant, my other sister Vera threw her a baby shower and invited me to the event. This was years ago. I remember being so uneasy about attending my first hen party. LOL!
Vera knew that I have a passion for baking so she asked me to whip up a couple of sheet cakes for the occasion, which I did. In Vera’s backyard, we ate moist, delicious cake, drank punch, laughed and joked while watching Jean tear open gifts for her unborn baby. It was a lovely experience.
The baby is now a grown man with a college degree, a good paying job and a pregnant fiancée. God, time flies. When he was a itty-bitty thing, just a few months old, I began taking care of him.
My sister had to work. She had another child to support, a mortgage to pay. And that bum she was married to had disappeared.
I was happily jobless; my husband was supporting us both and I took care of our home and wrote. So, she asked me to look after her son while she worked. She showed me how to care for an infant. I changed diapers. Gave him baths. Warmed bottles. Fed him. Potty-trained him. I was there when he went from Gerber’s to table food.
At the time, my husband and I were living in a condo that had a little play area for the tiny tots and my nephew spent an inordinate amount of time out there, with me or my husband swinging and going down the slides, giggling and drooling at the same time. My husband and I used to take him to the municipal park where he really had a ball. Those swings and slides were bigger and sturdier and the park teemed with other kids for him to romp with.
Not only did I take care of my nephew, practically from birth, but I also took care of my niece, but she was five when I started helping with her. I didn’t potty train her, wean her off a bottle or her favorite blanket like I did with my nephew. But she and I spent a lot of meaningful times together. I took her to the park, the zoo. We went out to eat. I bought her books. Got her a library card.
Taking care of my niece and nephew was an excellent investment of my time.
Talking about my niece and nephew reminds me of another suggestion made by Erica. She said and I quote that trans women who are not that educated should be allowed to work as house maids or get jobs focusing on taking care of small children.
The comment sounds to me like Erica has run across people who don't think that was a great idea.
I see nothing wrong with a trans woman working as a housemaid. Hey, a trans woman needs a paycheck to sustain herself, and if a housemaid is the only work that is available to her, well, of course, she should grab it and be grateful for the opportunity.
To get a paycheck, I’d squirt some furniture polish, glass cleaner, mop floors and sing my favorite songs while doing it.
Also, I see nothing wrong with trans women taking care of young children.
But let’s face it, some people wouldn’t want us around their kids. But not everyone is like that. When I took care of my nephew, and working moms who knew my sister saw that he was clean and well taken care of and happy frequently offered me babysitting gigs and they knew I was trans.
Back to Erica’s recommendation. I‘d suggest to any trans woman that is playing nanny or cleaning another person’s house, that she take steps to educate herself, to get training for a decent pay job.
Or if she wants to make a career out of taking care of someone’s house or children, she could probably get a degree or some kind of certification in home economics or child care.
I would imagine that there are professional housekeepers or nannies (people who work for politicians or celebrities) who receive good wages and benefit packages.
And if you decide to be a maid or nanny, still get an education. Read, read, read. You may have to help those kids with their homework.